If I aske you a few questions abut your sweet heart, would you know the answers? Lets see…
♥What is your better half favorite color?
♥What’s his/her favorite restaurant?
♥What is your sweetheart’s dream job?
♥And I can go on and on. This are simple questions right? So how well did you do? Where you right about the answers to this questions? Most couples may think that this are simple and silly questions, that it does have anything to do with their relationship to know or not know this information. But according to John B. Gottman says that there is a big difference between knowing your spouse’s “joys, likes, dislikes, fears and stresses,” and having an intimate knowledge of each other’s world.
♥To truly love someone, Gottman says, we need to know them, because if we don’t know them, how can we truly love them? So how can we get to the point of truly knowing our spouses, it is simple, we need to make them our priority in our lives. As we strive to get to know them better, we will start to feel a stronger connection, our feelings of love and admiration will increase, and positivity will become a strong element in our relationship. As you start building you library of knowledge about your one true love, you will start build what Gottman calls Love Maps. The more you know about each other, the stronger the Love Map, and the stronger the love map, greater possibilities of having a happy, long lasting marriage. And this is possible because the more we know about our spouse, we will understand them better, we will be able to do the things we know make them happy, we will strive to do everything in our power to fill their lives with joy.
Marriage is a sacred and delicate union, and as such it needs to be nourish to keep it alive. Gottman says that,
“If a couple still has functioning fondness and admiration system, their marriage is salvageable… Fondness and Admiration are two of the most crucial elements in a rewarding and long lasting romance. When this sense is completely missing from a marriage, the relationship cannot be revived.”
♥So what is fondness and admiration you may ask, and I will tell you that the answer is simple, it is the mutual respect you have for each other, and the capacity to think positively about each other, even when facing trials and struggles. If this elements are ever missing in a marriage, then that marriage will be in trouble.
So, start right now, write a list of simple question that you may want to ask your better half in order to know them better. Together remember great moment you have shared in your lives. AS simple as it seems, filling your heart with the sweet, simple and joyful moments of the past, can fill your present with hopes, and it will reflect in a promising happily ever after future!!